Tia Juana will cheerfully provide advice for anyone that asks. Just mail your questions to “Ask Tia Juana” at PO Box 8, Van Horn, Texas 79855. All questions will remain anonymous unless there is a chance for extortion. Disclaimer: Tia Juana is not a licensed counselor or therapist and none of the advice should be considered professional.
Dear Tia
I am the middle child of my family. I have a younger brother and an older brother, but you wouldn’t know it, because I feel like an only child much of the time, especially when it comes to my aging parents. Anytime my parents get sick or need to go to the doctor, or visit relatives, or go to funerals, my brothers always seem to have an excuse. I love my parents, and don’t mind doing for them, but it would be nice for my brothers to help me out and give me a break. It seems so unfair, and now I am becoming resentful toward not only my parents for depending on me so much, but toward my brothers as well, for not doing their part. Right now, I am so tired, I feel like running away, but guilt keeps me here. How do I get my brothers to be responsible?
The Only Child
Dear Only Child,
Your story is not an isolated one. Except for real only children, most families have children who are the fixers and those who expect others to be the fixers. Unfortunately, being responsible is a virtue, which is not in everyone. As much as your brothers love your parents, they are totally dependent on you to take care of them because you have relieved them of any responsibility. You need to play “chicken” with your brothers, and tell them you are unavailable and your parents will not make that doctor’s appointment unless they get off their butts and do it. Do not give in, otherwise nothing will change, and it many not. On a good note, if it’s any consolation, when your parents are gone, you will have peace in your heart because you took care of them. Your brothers, on the other hand, will forever regret not doing what they should have to help take care of your parents. Good luck!
